Thursday, September 30, 2004

Trying again.

today was the first day in a while that I've felt simply content. I think it's a good idea for me to start my days with a cup of coffee and some reading on my parents' front porch. This is last time for a while that I'm going to be around seasons, and I surely love seasons. The attic fan is off for the year and we're starting to get that moldy leafy smell in the air. Crisp and clean, like my newly cleaned desk!

okay. This blog is not going to be about seasons or emptying wastebaskets. sorry guys.

the move to Santa Cruz (California) is still bothering me some. I keep telling people that I'm scared of the move because I'm afraid I'm going to lose touch with "middle America". As a left-of-center hopeful media-maker, that worries me. While I can see that it's possible (very easy, in fact) for me to fall into a "debate amongst the choir", I think there's something more than that about this move that worries me (no it's not Jessica, she's the REASON for the move).

I think my visit to the City Museum last night brought this issue out again. I really like the City Museum, and a place like that couldn't happen in a city that's not a decaying working class industrial center. There's something really freeing about the low expectations in a city like St. Louis. There's not a ton of competition here, and that makes a lot of stuff really possible creatively. There's so much terrific raw material everywhere, it's not overworked, there aren't snide critic-lurkers around each bend. For someone who's been in a bit of a slump, that's important. (what is this slump? is it just this GUR project? does it reach much farther into insecurities? is if from too much education? too little?)

I'm remembering my time in NYC, where I very rarely went to galleries and usually left feeling ill. Maybe at times the art here doesn't really inspire me, but it's at least mostly honest, and "accessibility" isn't the biggest problem.

anyhow, today I felt good again. I've started reviewing footage again for the GUR doc, and I'm just waiting to hear back from PEAR about my suggestions for the ed. video. Still haven't gotten in touch with my interviewee whose footage is in debate. I'm just waiting for my dust to settle.


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